A Someday Curse
by libraryloser
Summary: James likes Lily, but she hates him. Sirius is tired of seeing his friend get crushed, and when she insults the Marauders, she has gone too far. So he cooks up some revenge... Some revenge that will have an interesting effect on their future son's life.LJ


**AN: Hope you like this, it's my first one-shot. I saw something in the Harry Potter books that deserved an explanation, so I made a magical one. Enjoy...**

**Disclaimer: Don't own what you recognize.**

**A Someday Curse**

It was right after the Gryffindor v. Ravenclaw quidditch match, the match that counted for the cup, and the school grounds were littered with celebrating students. Gryffindor had won the house cup for the third glorious year in a row.

Every time James flew his broomstick to the ground after catching the winning snitch, he was flooded by his team mates, followed shortly afterwards by half of the crowd from the stands. They were always eager to congratulate him and boost him on their shoulders, singing various rhymes that they came up with about how glorious the win was or how amazing James-Stinking-Potter was.

But Lily always just folded up whatever book she had brought with her to avoid being bored at the match and walked quietly back to the castle. She never wanted to watch the post-match festivities.

Now, Lily Evans was a loyal Gryffindor, but she hated that match more than any other. The fact that her house had won it every year since a certain untidy-raven-haired seeker was made captain caused her only grief… a grief that seemed to go unnoticed to James, although every other student was aware of it and thought her rather disloyal to her house's cause. They simply couldn't fathom why any Gryffindor could be unhappy with winning the house cup.

But Lily Evans had several reasons.

The first of those reasons was his hair.

She knew with a glance over her shoulder that his hair was messier than usual. The wind from the fast paced flying has blown it about so that it sticks out at odd angles, some of it falling in front of his forehead and other bits pointing up to the sky.

It wouldn't be so bad if it were just from flying, but she knew that he would be raking his fingers through it for days after, perhaps in an attempt to keep the windswept glory of his last match of the year alive. Most girls thought it was charming.

Lily thought it was annoying. What was he trying to do? Who would _want_ to look that way? And why did he always glance at her when he did it? It made him look like he had a twitch.

The second reason she hated winning the house cup was because it gave James this feeling on invincibility that meant nothing but trouble for her. Whenever he got confident, or as Lily liked to put it, arrogant beyond his usual arrogance, he felt the need to bother her.

She sighed as she reached the common room and crashed on one of the comfortable couches, knowing that the peace of the room was about to be very disturbed.

Sure enough, the scarlet and gold clad revelers burst through the door less than five minutes later, singing and shouting and drinking.

Oh great. Lily had forgotten her third reason for hating the last match. Sirius Black always thought "celebrate" meant "sneak firewhiskey in from Hogsmeade." And buzzed Marauders meant bad ideas.

Lily tried to sneak out of the room, but he spotted her before she could make her getaway. "Oy! Evans!" he shouted above the noise.

She stopped and turned to watch him jog up to her with an impatient look.

"Hey," he said, ruffling his hair again, in that infuriating way.

Lily made a face, which James noted rather uneasily.

However, his post-match euphoria was not to be squelched. "Why didn't you come watch me play today?"

"I did," she replied in surprise. How had he not noticed her there?

"Well, I saw that you came to the game… but you were reading the whole time. I had hoped you would come to watch me. We won, you know."

She glanced around the room in mock surprise. "I hadn't noticed," she said dryly.

He kept grinning, refusing to let her sarcasm hurt him. "Oh yes. I caught the snitch when we were one hundred and ten points up. We absolutely trounced them."

"Well good for you. I figured you could catch the snitch without too much trouble."

"Oh?" his eyebrows shot up into his messy hairline. "You had confidence in me?"

"I had confidence that your ego would be so large that the snitch would have to leave the school grounds to escape it."

He frowned, at last, and his hand dropped from his hair.

Lily kept right on going. "Why do you do that? The match is over. Your last match as captain. You are allowed to start combing your hair, because people will know now that you haven't just climbed off a broom."

His attempted another smile. "I don't know why… it's just a habit. It feels rather lovely. Hasn't anyone ever run their fingers through your hair, Evans? I could, if you'd like."

"Sod off, Potter."

He smirked. "I've never met anyone else who could so easily make a surname sound like an insult. I think you have a gift."

"A good gift would be if you had the good sense to jump off a bloody cliff! For the last time, Potter, leave me alone!"

His face fell at her venomous tone and his hand flew self-consciously towards his hair again.

"And stop with the ridiculous hair thing!" she snapped. "No one is impressed."

"To the contrary, Miss Evans, everyone seems to be impressed but you. This fact despairs me, as yours is the only opinion that truly matters."

"So knock it off. I think your head looks like a bespectacled rat's nest."

James's frown deepened. "Fine, I'll leave you to your book and maybe find someone to talk to that appreciates me."

Lily sank into a nearby chair and snapped open the book in her hand. "That sounds like one of the only good ideas you have ever had."

James looked at her sadly for a moment, which was really a big deal considering how happy he had been when he entered the room. She met his gaze for the briefest of seconds before lowering her eyes to her book, scanning the worn pages to find her place. James sighed and walked off, joining the happy Gryffindors in their festivities.

Lily almost thought to feel badly at the broken-hearted look he had given her, but only until she glanced up to apologize and saw him reliving some great quidditch play with his teammates, running his hand through his blasted hair.

"Feeling sorry for him?" said the voice that Lily liked second-least in all the world.

"Bugger off, Black."

"Oh, I would, but you see, I have some business in this corner of the room to attend to."

"Oh? Well kindly finish it so I can have some peace."

"Alright, then you should know my business is with you."

Lily slammed her book shut and glared at him. "Why do you Marauders like to irritate me so?"

"Because you rise to the occasion so marvelously."

She only glared some more, so Sirius decided to get this thing over with. "Why are you so horrible to James when the poor boy only wants your attention? He is obviously mad about you. Most girls don't see that as a reason to tear a boy apart from the inside out."

Lily was taken aback by his forward question. "Well… he's just so arrogant. That stupid horrible unbelievably obnoxious thing he does to his hair. I hate it. I hate his messy hair more than I hate anything in the world. He thinks everyone is in love with him. You all do."

Sirius leaned back a bit, that casual swagger he was so well known for, smirking horribly. "Hate to break it to you, Lil, but everyone is in love with us. Besides you, of course."

Lily rolled her eyes. "For what? For pulling dumb, even dangerous pranks? For getting in so much trouble… _causing_ so much trouble? For throwing stupid balls through stupid hoops while riding a flying stick? For record time spent in front of a mirror, or record time in detention? Nothing you have ever done has been honor worthy."

Sirius was still smirking. "All of the above… careful, Lily… do you really want to talk that way about us?"

"Yes."

"Well it might be dangerous. You said it yourself… sometimes we Marauders do dumb and dangerous things."

"Oh? What could you possibly do to me? Try anything and I will hit you so hard that your future _children_ will feel it." Lily folded her arms impatiently.

Sirius was all-out grinning now. "Ooooh, Evans, you clearly don't know who you are dealing with. I could curse you so badly that _your _children would be cursed."

"I'd like to see you try. Now if you don't mind…" she stood and began to walk up to the dorm room. "I am going to read this someplace quiet. Goodnight, Black. I hope you and James crash your broomsticks three thousand feet in the air so that you fall on the Whomping Willow and it bashes you into a Snargaluff stump which eats all your appendages, starting with your shortest."

"That was a very creative, although disturbing, insult, Evans!" he shouted after her.

"Glad you enjoyed it!" she shot back, disappearing into her dorm room.

Sirius stared after her, slightly enraged by her nerve and downright meanness._ Someone really should make her pay_, he thought.

He went to find Remus, who was the best at thinking up payback if you tricked him into doing it. Sirius spotted him in the corner, telling off James for giving alcohol to a first year and being all head-boyish. Sirius grabbed the tired looking boy by his tie and dragged him away, Remus protesting and still shouting reprimands over his shoulder.

"Padfoot, let me go or I will give you detention!"

Sirius shoved a glass of firewhiskey into Remus's hand. "Relax and have a drink or I will give _you_ detention."

"You can't do that," he spluttered.

"Watch me."

Remus glared at him for a moment but gave in. "Fine, what do you want?"

"Do you know of any curses that are so bad that the person's _children_ will be cursed?"

Remus thought. "Well, there is one that could just curse the future children, a posterity curse… it's _Posteritus_ something. But it's pretty illegal to do that. You could only find it in the restricted section. Why do you ask?"

"No reason." He turned and shouted across the room. "Hey James! I'm borrowing your cloak, ok?"

James merely toasted him, but that was good enough permission for Sirius.

He turned back to Remus. "Hey, I have to run an errand. See you later, ok? And keep an eye on James… Lily's rejection was pretty harsh tonight, and he might be trying to slosh himself into a stupor."

"Ok. Hey wait…" Remus replied, suddenly feeling suspicious. "Where are you…?"

But Sirius had already gone.

After about an hour and several covert operations later, he found himself in the restricted section of the library, scanning its old volumes for something that might help him. James's invisibility cloak was light, but after so long looking through dusty old books, it began to get stifling and warm. Sirius peeked around and then whipped it off, hoping that Remus or Lily wouldn't peek into the library on rounds. He groaned in exasperation… this was taking forever, and he wasn't getting anywhere.

Suddenly a large volume caught his eye. Its charcoal-black leather binding was peeling back at the edges and it looked slightly evil… and evil was exactly what Sirius needed.

He pulled it down, causing a shower of dust to rain onto his head. Coughing, he looked at the book. The title read "_On Revenge"_ in silver and green. Sirius snorted. "Of course it was written by a Slytherin." He cautiously cracked it open, knowing that some books had the habit of screaming or moaning when you open them. This one chuckled sinisterly, but Sirius felt that it was nothing to worry about and opened to the index, mumbling the faded words to himself, noticing with an eerie feeling that all of the darker words were capitalized as though the author cherished them the most.

"Permanent itches, lasting Aches… how to brew Poison, how to brew Pain in a bottle… how to remove Bones… how to vanish appendages… the Unforgivable Curses, yikes…how to Curse pets… homes…and posterity! Eureka, I have found it!" Sirius ripped the page out of the book (not feeling the least bit poorly about it… he had never cared much for books) and replaced it on the shelf. He pulled the cloak back over himself, and page in hand, ran back to his dorm.

When he was sure the others had fallen asleep, he drew the hangings around his bed and lit his wand to read the page. It had several different options on how to curse someone's future children. You could make it so their first born dropped dead on their first birthday or you could make all of their children born with no eyes. Sirius thought these were too extreme for his liking. There was also the option of having children born more prone to hiccups, but he didn't think that was extreme enough. Every option was either pointless, frighteningly dark, or not severe enough… the crime had to fit the punishment.

And then he saw it. It was the perfect revenge for the situation, and he couldn't have come up with a better idea if it had walked up to him and asked for a snog.

MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP

The next day in the common room, something surprising happened. Lily Evans was reading a book. Of course, this wasn't a surprising thing for her to be doing at all. The surprise was when Sirius jumped out from behind the couch she was on, causing her to scream at the top of her lungs and sending her book flying across the room.

He had a maniacal look on his face as he whipped out his wand and screamed a curse at her.

"_Crinis Posteritus!"_

Lily ducked and felt the curse hit her. Everyone who had been in the common room looked up in concern, waiting for something to happen.

Nothing did.

Lily stood up shakily and examined her arms, legs, everything. Nothing had happened, nothing had changed. She looked up at Sirius scathingly. "Is this some kind of joke? What was the point of all that, to scare me out of my knickers?"

Sirius chuckled quietly. Then it turned into a full-blown laugh. At that moment, as he shrieked in evil laughter, it was possible to see how everyone would one day believe he could be a psychotic mass murderer.

Lily was going into hysterics. "Black! Shut up and tell me what you just did!"

He fell silent and stared at her. "You'll know… someday," he whispered sinisterly. Then he ran out of the room, once again laughing evilly.

MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP MWPP

Several years later, when the fateful day in the common room was far from anyone's memory, Lily and James sat in a house.

Their house, to be specific.

When Lily and James stopped disliking each other and fell in love, it came no surprise to anyone but themselves. They decided not to fight it, since being together made them happier than they could remember being, so they got married, and like married people tend to do, they liked each other a lot.

They liked each other so much, in fact, that they were soon joined by a baby boy. They named him Harry, which Lily did out of spite for her sister, who thought it was nasty and common name.

Lily and James sat together on their couch, tickling the tiny cooing baby and laughing. James glanced up at his wife occasionally. He really couldn't believe his good luck in finally catching her. The day that she admitted to loving him back had been the best day of his life.

Well… he couldn't really decide. He also thought that his wedding was the best day of his life, until it had the day of Harry's birth to contend with. He didn't really care which day was best, he was just so happy they had all happened.

Lily felt him staring and glanced up, blushing when he saw how he looked at her. "What?" she asked.

He smiled. "Nothing. I just think you are really pretty."

She laughed and shoved him. "You're not too bad yourself."

"And you had a really, really good looking kid."

"You helped a little," she winked at him.

"Yeah," he said leaning back on the couch and putting his hands behind his head. "I'm glad he didn't come out wrong."

Lily frowned. "What in Merlin's name do you mean by that?"

James smirked. "I… nothing. It's just something Sirius said once."

That made Lily frown deeper. "What did he say?"

"Oh, when I asked him to be my best man, he said something about you and me having kids someday, and how they might turn out wrong. I really don't know what he was on about, and obviously, Harry turned out fine, so I wouldn't worry."

James got up and kissed her on the forehead before walking to the door and grabbing a coat.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked him.

"Oh, talking about Sirius reminded me that I hadn't remembered to buy him a birthday present, and his birthday is in two days. I'll be back very soon, don't worry."

"Okay. I love you, James."

He closed his eyes and smiled. He loved the sound of those words. "I love you too, Lily." He pulled his coat on and stepped out the door, closing it quietly behind him.

Lily rocked the baby for awhile, singing to him softly until he fell asleep. She smiled, thinking about how perfect her life was, with her perfect husband, perfect home, and perfect baby.

Well, almost perfect, she thought as she tried to smooth out his messy hair with a little frustration. There was just one problem with her baby, and it had always sort of puzzled Lily.

For after all, no matter how it was combed or charmed, no matter what Lily or anyone else did, Harry's hair would never, ever lie flat.

**A/N: ;) Review please!**


End file.
